Living the unconventional life

By: Bex - Also see author's expat blog listing & expat interview

Have you ever lived an expected existence: 9-5 Monday to Friday job, on the look out for Mr. Right. Did you find yourself to be more like Bridget Jones than the Disney Princesses who always meet their Prince? Did you secretly want to carry on your Gap Year, but kept your desire repressed for fear of not living a ‘normal’ life?

Life, our family, society, expects so much from us—that we’ll go about things the ‘correct way’: school, college, University, career, Mr Right, house, kids (a dog maybe?), advancement in career, grandkids, retirement, death. But what if you’re not made out of the conventional mould? What if living life in this way destroys your soul, your very being?

Travelling and choosing to settle for a while in another country and culture doesn’t have to be restricted just to the ‘gappers’ who need to get it out of their system before serious life begins, nor does it need to be restricted to the retirees who’re too old to travel independently, cruising the Bahamas or Europe once a year.

I always had to be different. I was never content with the corporate lifestyle and would only ever work to build up enough funds to travel. I undertook a volunteer assignment teaching English in Sri Lanka, took my Bachelors degree in International Relations in my early 30’s, an EFL (English as a Foreign Language) qualification after my degree and then chose my first paid teaching job in a small inland town in Central Greece. I figured I’d gain experience and move on to another exciting destination after one year. 4.5 years later and I’m still in Greece, now in Athens.

I’ve learnt that it’s OK to be unconventional, to do things the wrong way around. Without realising it, I seem to have thrown myself into the Greek lifestyle and accepted it. I don’t feel like an expat (I’ve never been one for labels to be honest), I’m just a British girl who found herself in this chaotic country and fell in love with it: her food, the islands and the Greek passion for life, in spite of all their hardships and negative press at the moment.

Did you know there is no Greek word for privacy? This can be both a blessing and a curse. It means Greeks don’t really understand the concept of someone wanting to be alone long term. They congregate together, as part of a family unit or include you in their adopted family cycle. I have been invited to various family Sunday dinners which include grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and nieces and nephews. And I’ve always been given a doggy bag that invariably lasts a week.
“You live alone? You must take food! Here, more” is usually accompanied with the food parcel. I have stopped being asked “You’re single, why?” and this seems to have changed to “You’re single? Good. No man is good enough” —this usually comes from the Yiya’s (Grandma’s) whilst their old husbands tune out aurally in the corner, casting surreptitious glances at the British kopella (girl). It’s nice in Greece: no matter your age, a woman is almost always referred to as a kopella. It’s a term of endearment used by the elderly to those younger.

It can be a curse when you really do want to be alone because your poor ears and vocal chords are suffering after a day’s teaching, but your friend’s mother insists you come for dinner because “that poor English kopella is all alone.” The phone rings or, if they’re in the same building, the doorbell goes. To be fair, it’s getting better and we’ve struck a nice balance: once every couple of weeks I attend a big family event of a friend and meet various friends out for coffee.

Ah the coffee way of life: here is Greece you never rush it. Greece would make a perfect place for a Nescafe advertisement to be set! You can order just one coffee (or tea) and spend as long as you like drinking it. Not once are you glared at by the waitress to order more or hurry up because you’re taking too long. These are the things that I appreciate about life here: love of sticking together and the coffee culture—beats the beer swilling culture in the UK.

Of course it’s not all sunshine and olives. There are difficulties settling into another culture—in Greece for me it’s the awfully low salary I receive (still considered higher than most because I teach at a private school) and the bureaucracy that leaves you wondering whether you’re sticking to the law or not! It’s impossible to know if you’re being lawful because the laws are constantly changing. So what do I do? I see if the positives outweigh the negatives, I have enough money to live, I have friends and those food parcels and despite the negatives, I am happy. I also get to wake up to blue skies most mornings, not feel that I want to retire to bed at 4pm in the winter and know if things get tough for me, I always have 1.50 euros for a coffee with a friend and a moan for 3 hours with him/her (which is free).

My advice? If you’re feeling the shackles of your corporate lifestyle tugging at you that much harder, you’re not alone. Sit down and write a list of positive and negatives about your current lifestyle. Really dig deep and think of a country you’d love to go to. Now the practical steps: research the job possibilities in your field or, funds permitting, volunteer opportunities. Look at any visa restrictions, for example—if you’re from an E.U. country, for the moment you have free movement and can work in any other E.U. country, although in Greece it’s necessary to obtain a Residency Permit for stays of longer than 90 days. Other E.U. countries ask for this too.

And my most valuable piece of advice? Don’t let fear of the unknown hold you back or control you. It’s OK to not want to lead the ‘conventional lifestyle’ others might expect of you. If we were all the same, we’d be a boring race of people, America would never have been discovered, the South Pole never reached, shall I go on? Be adventurous, and good luck!