Top 50 Ways You Know You're an Expat Living in Vienna

By: Emily Calle

50. You accept that most days you're going to get something wrong.  Living abroad is a challenge, and living outside of your own culture means there will be mistakes.  At first, this is daunting, but it eventually becomes a normal part of life.  It’s inevitable, and completely ok.

49. You know that the train is a great way to get anywhere.  Public transportation here is excellent – clean, efficient, safe, reliable and inexpensive.

48. Vanilla ice cream that tastes like lemons seems normal to you.  And you know that any time is a good time for ice cream.  Austrians of all ages will eat ice cream at any time of day, and it doesn’t even have to be warm out.

47. You know to walk well away from building overhangs in the winter, unless you want to get a pile of icy slush down the back of your coat.  “Vorsicht!  Dachlawine!  (Caution!  Avalanche!)”  Signs bearing this warning go up all over the city after a significant snow, along with barriers that encourage pedestrians to avoid the danger areas.

46. You know that you can smell a horse from a block away.  (Further in the summer.)  Vienna is host to many horse-drawn carriages.  They’re a charming and lovely piece of the ambiance here . . . except, sometimes, for the smell.

45. You have a spring coat and a fall coat in addition to a winter coat.  Vienna has a variety of cold weather conditions, and it’s good to be prepared for all of them – chilly, cold, very cold, windy and cold, wet and cold, snow, snow with wind, snow/rain with cold and wind.

44. You know that you must stock up on milk and bread every Saturday morning . . . along with everyone else in Vienna.  Since there are very few shops that sell groceries in the evenings or on Sundays, it feels like everyone in Vienna is out at the market on Saturday mornings.

43. You know you'll always find an audience for a story about your terrible day.  Austrians love a good story about a rough day . . . and expats usually have one to share.

42. You start to be more surprised by children who wear swimming suits at the lake than by those who don't.  Nudity – in all age groups – is pretty well accepted here around the lakeside.  Children, in particular, often go without swimsuits of any kind.

41. You know to always check both ways before crossing the street -- even when it’s a one way street.  Bicycles are permitted to go the “wrong way” on one way streets, and emergency vehicles are as well – often at high rates of speed.

40. You fully expect that shop hours will be religiously adhered to, but you know that the opening hours of anything administrative are only a vague suggestion.  If you have a purchase to make, and it is closing time, a shopkeeper is likely to rush you out, promptly on time.  If you’re trying to do something administrative or governmental, however, you’re likely to find the office locked and dark during many of the posted “office hours”.

39. You know that deodorant is optional for far too many people.  The one frequent negative about public transportation.

38. When someone hands you free produce in a train station, you don't find it odd.  From time to time, you will encounter people handing out free fruits or vegetables at busy train stations.  Here, have an apple, or a pepper!

37. You have an accent that no one can place.  I often meet other Americans who can’t tell that I’m one, too, and the Austrians I meet seem to most often get the impression that I’m English.  My kids are starting to pick up the North American Expat Pseudo-German Speaker accent I’ve only other heard in American and Canadian kids raised here.

36. You think in Celsius, and have to convert back to explain to people at home what the weather is like.

35. You expect to be able to order organic apple juice anywhere . . . including McDonald's.  We’re completely spoiled.

34. You know what those Nordic walking poles are for. Kind of.

33. 24 hour time seems normal.

32. So does crossing your sevens.

31. You can tell the time by the church bells near your house.  But you still don't know why some of them ring at the times that they do.  I can tell whether or not I’m running late to my German lesson by which bells I hear on which part of my journey.  And we know the lesson is over when we hear the bells at Michaelerkirche ring 7:00.

30. You've almost gotten used to writing your dates "backwards".  Date/month/year.  I think we threw out a lot of food that first year when we misread the dates.

29. Lederhosen kind of make sense and Dirndls seem appropriate for almost any occasion.  I wish I had Lederhosen!
28. You've stopped trying NOT to be in tourist pictures at Michaelerplatz and Stephansplatz.  There are so many people taking pictures there at any one time, you know you can’t possibly avoid them all.

27. It seems perfectly normal that it should take over 2 hours to wash a load of laundry.  Back in the US, it used to take 1-2 hours to wash and dry a load of laundry.  It now literally takes all day.  If I don’t get the wash started before lunch, it won’t be dry before bedtime.

26. "God's greetings" is a perfectly normal way of saying hello.  “Gruss Gott!”  It’s just what they say here to say hello.

25. You have no idea how (or why) people survive without 6 weeks of vacation, plus sick time, plus maternity and paternity leave.

24. It’s no longer a shock when complete strangers criticize the way that your children are dressed – either too warmly, or not warmly enough.  Often both in the same day, especially in the spring.
23. You will never eat a “donut” from anywhere else again.  It’s a Krapfen, or nothing.

22. You carry an umbrella everywhere, and you never trust a weather report.  The temperature can be off by 10 or more degrees (Celsius) from the forecast, and never count on rain or sunshine, just because you read it in a weather report.  I think they may forecast the weather here by throwing darts at a board.

21. You know that there appear to be about 57 different kinds of sugar available in Vienna. You can get all of them at the Billa. You only ever buy two.
20. Half of your English has become British English. It’s just easier, since that’s what so many Austrians learned in school.

19. Although you've never understood it, prune paste no longer surprises you as a pastry filling.  And you’ve stopped being fooled and expecting chocolate . . . most of the time.

18. You've become very, very punctual.  You apologize profusely for being even 2 minutes late.

17. Socialism is no longer a dirty word.  Vienna is a great place to live. They’re doing a lot of things right.

16. You've been told off (more than once) for putting your groceries on the checkout belt “incorrectly”.  And you still don't know how Austrians pay for and bag their groceries so quickly.

15. When you go home to visit, you get stares when you exclaim "good morning!" as you enter a shop.  It’s a habit that I can’t seem to break. I’m grateful I don’t do it in German.

14. You fear the Krampus.  At least a little.

13. You aren't surprised to see a dog anywhere.

12. You always stop to chat with the neighbors, but never smile at strangers.

11. Whenever you refer to "home", you have to specify where you mean.

10. A fully grown adult in business attire on a scooter or skateboard no longer fazes you.

9. You count your eggs in 10s, not 12s. But still call it a “dozen”.

8. You only vaguely remember what it is like to wait in an orderly line. For a nation of people that seems to love efficiency, it’s surprising how intolerant people here are of waiting in a line.

7. You cringe when people from home mix up Austria and Germany. One language (more or less), two countries. I doubt Switzerland has this problem.

6. You know that the customs line at the airport is only for tourists. I have never seen an Austrian person go through the “something to declare” line.  We went through that line when we first arrived, and the guy glared at us like we were ruining his day, and then waved us through without checking anything.

5. You've forgotten what a "snow day" is.  Sometimes it’s cold.  Sometimes it snows.  Life goes on.  School happens, work happens, the buses run on time.

4. You're accustomed to seeing elementary school aged children on public transport by themselves.  But it still freaks you out.

3. You look for lost gloves on fence posts, not on the ground.

2. You still have no idea where Arnold Schwarzenegger gets his accent.  I have never met an Austrian who sounds like that.

1. You can say the number six without giggling in your head.