Top 8 Truths About Moving to Singapore

By: Kimono Karen

Like our previous moves, the decision to pack up and head to Singapore was half ours and half the whims of my husband’s job. It works like this: a list comes out with available positions, we chose which ones we are interested in and rank them, and lastly the agency picks out our new home. Did I know much about Singapore when we put it on the list? A little. Did I believe we would be selected for the Singapore spot? Not at all. Did I learn much more about my new home before I moved? Not as much as I intended to. But isn’t it much more fun to throw yourself in, shock your system a bit and figure it out on your own? Definitely. This is the overview of what I have learned in my short four and a half months here.

1) It’s hot. This almost should be considered an obvious fact when you consider the country’s placement one degree off the Equator, but it’s more than what I expected of the hot. It’s wet, humid, sticky hot. Like I stuffed my head into the dryer at the end of a cycle, and this was after I took a good hard jog down the street in the midday sun. And the clamminess just never leaves you. Not in the middle of the night. Not in the rainy season. Not even when you are sitting with your feet in the pool. My lip sweats. I didn’t even know there were sweat glands on my lip and yet now I find myself mopping my lips up. God forbid I try to put on some lipstick. I would end up with streaks of red dripping down my neck and into my cleavage if I even bother to try. I mean it. It’s hot.

2) It’s expensive. Well, okay, Captain Obvious. Considering I have moved to what is often referred to as a shopping capitol of the world, I still hadn’t adequately prepared myself for the sticker shock. Thinking about buying a simple Honda that costs $20K in the states? How about forking over more like $100K here! And that’s not including the permits you buy to drive that rival the sticker price of the car. Now, I am not hanging out on Orchard Road and loading my plethora of closets with Chanel clothes, Prada bags and Tiffany diamonds. I’m just trying to pay for a few hours of air con in a 4,000+ square foot home and maybe taking my kiddos for a dinner treat occasionally. Sorry, kids. People may gasp at the size of our house when they walk in, but dinner tonight is at the local hawker stalls down the street. $4 Sing for chicken rice… yes, please! You can even have seconds.

3) Just because everyone speaks English, does not mean you will understand them and they certainly won’t understand you! That’s because they speak Singlish, not English. Essentially, the rules of grammar rarely apply. I have begun to try my hand at Singlish and throw an awful lot of the fan favorite word “lah” around. From what I understand of the word lah, it can mean a lot of things, but it is mostly for emphasis. As in, “isn’t your kid the cutest thing ever?”; “why, yes lah, he is lah!” Even with my excellent grasp of this fun, little pneumatic, you can probably guess… most people still have no idea what I am talking about… lah.

4) The food is not exactly as good as I was told. Now please don’t pummel me with nasty, rotten smelling durian fruits because I said this, but I’m just…ummm…not a fan. People rave about the food here. I know. And there is certainly plenty to choose from. Chinese, Malaysian, Indian, Thai… but it’s almost as if the blending of all those cultures confused the food a bit, in my little humble opinion. I like spice. I like a lot of the flavors. I even like a few dishes on their own (laksa… yes, please!) But there is just something about it that doesn’t appeal to my own palate. Like I said, I like spice, which means I love me a good chili pepper. What I don’t care for is when it seems like that poor pepper was cooked until it was dead. I’d rather something taste fresh and have the flavors of a dish jump out at me than be cooked so long they all seem muddled together.

5) It isn’t a strict as I thought here. While caning is still an acceptable punishment here in Singapore, I was pleasantly surprised not to see a SWAT team of every corner waiting to take down the unawares gum-chewer. Speaking of gum, you can’t buy it here, but it isn’t illegal to chew it as I had believed before arriving here. Not that I am personally going to test this law, but it’s just nice to keep in my reference pile. One thing I do avoid for sure however is being naked in my own home here in Singapore. Pornography is illegal here and obviously nudity has a big role in pornography, so I just keep my clothes on. All the time. I even shower dressed so a neighbor won’t accidentally see me and call the caning people! Yes, officer-of-the-law sir, a real rule follower here lah!

6) It is indeed a small island. You can pretty much drive from the top to the bottom of the island in about a half hour. For an east to west trip, maybe add fifteen, but that’s only because you have to circle around the middle of the island that is still pretty much the jungle it was before the country was the financial and shipping gateway hub it is today. While I certainly haven’t run out of things to do here, I am starting to understand why so many people are always hopping off to some amazing destination every month. It doesn’t cost that much and there just are so many wonderful places to go nearby! We’ve been settled into our home for three months and already made it to Indonesia. If we stick with the travel plan of others, that means we are due for another trip… next month? Yes. We are indeed already booked.

7) It’s much greener here than I suspected here. I heard Singapore was pretty much all shopping malls and skyscrapers. While it certainly has its share of those things, a previous prime minister had amazing foresight when he planned the “greening of Singapore.” My favorite happens to be the giant, umbrella-shaped rain trees that line the streets and then, making them even more lush and amazing looking, more tropical plants were planted in their center creating this controlled tropical jungle look. All this planned biodiversity just goes to prove that this country is indeed the City in a Garden it claims to be.

8) And the most surprising truth I have learned about Singapore is this… the people here are not happy… and I just don’t entirely get it. Sure. I’m new and I have a lot to learn still, but I just don’t understand the simmering unhappiness in everyone and with everything. My family went to the movies once and there was a commercial at the beginning of the movie about how everyone in Singapore was so happy. Do you know what the commercial was actually trying to do? Convince the Singaporeans that they are indeed happy. Why they aren’t? I don’t know. If you do, feel free to share. All I know is this… I’m happy here and Kimono Hubby and Kimono Kids are too. And that’s all that matters to me.